If you judge the success of your marriage on your happiness, what do you have when it's nothing but suffering?
What you want to have in your marriage, first and foremost, is a scrupulous honesty. And I don't mean you tell each other other the truth, because you can be brutal with the truth.
I mean the kind of honesty that's devoted towards thriving in love.
You want someone in a relationship that you can spar with - and it's partly because you have hard problems to solve. And if the person that you're with isn't willing to put forward their opinion, then you only have half the cognitive power that you would otherwise have.
Hopefully, you find someone who is interestingly different from you, but not so different that you can't communicate.
~ Jordan Peterson
