Wisdom read on Twitter
If your mother drives you to school -- you ain't no gangsta. Pull your damn pants up!
Two moves? He's a player!
He's got two moves:
Squeeze the Charmin, and poke around down there like he's trying to pop a balloon.
~ Earl's mom, talking about Earl's dad's canoodling skills, on My Name is Earl.
I can't think of a reason, either!
All right, I'm out...
Why should I stick around here if there is no chance of us making out?
~ Puck on Glee
Eternal truth...
Every time a couple gets married, two single people die...
~ Leslie Knope on Parks and Recreation
Just kidding...
Hitting is not always wrong... I mean, if it hadn't been for the hard smacks to the face, how else would I have learned not to talk when my parents were drinking?~ Comedian Jim Norton, responding on Red Eye to criticism that England still allows spanking.
Say what you want, I think he gets it...
Borrowing may make the lives of Albany politicians easier. It may delay our inevitable day of fiscal reckoning past one more November election. But borrowing to help close our budget deficit, by itself, does not do a single thing to help improve our long-term fiscal condition. In fact, it makes an already bad situation worse. And it violates virtually every principle of responsible budgeting.~ David Paterson, Governor of New York
David Paterson, Governor of New York
Eternal truth...
It's not the lying that screws people up,
It's the finding out.~ Joy on My Name is Earl
As I was saying...
If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind?
~ Buddha
As a person who typed in many a program...
I'm glad the Apple ][+ came with schematics for the circuit boards. I'm glad it encouraged a generation of kids to tinker and explore. I'm also glad that I don't live in the effing '70s and have to type in programs from a magazine anymore.
Joel Johnson's response to Cory Doctorow's bashing of the new iPad.
In the late 70's and early 80', I used to regularly visit the Periodical Room at the Iowa State University library, and peruse the computer magazines. If a program struck my fancy (backgammon! or a printer utility...add lower case!), I'd copy the programs (at 10 cents a page), run home, and type the program into my Apple ][+ (48k memory and two floppy disks, with an amber screen monitor).
Joel Johnson's response to Cory Doctorow's bashing of the new iPad.
In the late 70's and early 80', I used to regularly visit the Periodical Room at the Iowa State University library, and peruse the computer magazines. If a program struck my fancy (backgammon! or a printer utility...add lower case!), I'd copy the programs (at 10 cents a page), run home, and type the program into my Apple ][+ (48k memory and two floppy disks, with an amber screen monitor).
Now where are my running shoes?
You’re gonna die. You’re gonna die. And nobody’s gonna care which version of the iPhone you used to make something on Twitter, or to go and post about your latest date on Facebook.
And I’m not even talking about legacy; I’m talking about the fact that I personally feel most alive when I’m making something, and I feel least alive when I’m being led around by some obnoxious use of my attention that I wasn’t aware of.
To me, that’s the thing. You can buy the jogging shoes and you can buy the Runner’s World, but until you put them on and walk out the door every day, you’re just a fat man.
And I’m not even talking about legacy; I’m talking about the fact that I personally feel most alive when I’m making something, and I feel least alive when I’m being led around by some obnoxious use of my attention that I wasn’t aware of.
To me, that’s the thing. You can buy the jogging shoes and you can buy the Runner’s World, but until you put them on and walk out the door every day, you’re just a fat man.
There’s a famous Zen story that goes:
A monk told Joshu, “I have just entered the monastery. Please teach me.”
Joshu asked, “Have you eaten your rice porridge?
The monk replied, “I have eaten.”
Joshu said, “Then you had better wash your bowl.”
At that moment the monk was enlightened.
farsighted...
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect;
it means that you decide to see beyond the imperfections.~ Read on a plaque in a family restaurant, Sullivan, Missouri.
I miss Alan...
We are at a point right now where it doesn’t make a damn whether you’re a Democrat or a Republican if you’ve forgotten you’re an American.~ former Senator Alan K. Simpson, Republican of Wyoming, lamenting Washington’s lack of political will to confront the soaring national debt
We both agree on this...
Although I often grow weary of her incessant Bush-bashing, I do agree with this:
If we can’t catch a Nigerian with a powerful explosive powder in his oddly feminine-looking underpants and a syringe full of acid, a man whose own father had alerted the U.S. Embassy in Nigeria, a traveler whose ticket was paid for in cash and who didn’t check bags, whose visa renewal had been denied by the British, who had studied Arabic in Al Qaeda sanctuary Yemen, whose name was on a counterterrorism watch list, who can we catch?~ Maureen Dowd, Dec 29, 2009 op-ed
Read on another blog somewhere...
A farmer was working in his field when a young boy came running.
“Papa, sister is in the hay loft with the hired man. She has her skirt up and he has his pants down. THEY ARE GOING TO PEE IN THE HAY!”
“Son, your observations may be accurate, but your conclusions are not.”
The global warming “scientists” are representative of the son – we are “sister”, and Al Gore is the hired man.
“Papa, sister is in the hay loft with the hired man. She has her skirt up and he has his pants down. THEY ARE GOING TO PEE IN THE HAY!”
“Son, your observations may be accurate, but your conclusions are not.”
The global warming “scientists” are representative of the son – we are “sister”, and Al Gore is the hired man.
food baggage...
“There are some people who eat an orange but don’t really eat it. They eat their sorrow, fear, anger, past, and future.”
- Thich Nhat Hanh
Starry NIght
“For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.”
-Vincent van Gogh
Therapy by proxy...
Jonathan:
I have a chance to work with Jim Jarmish - my whole life could change!
Therapist:
Mmmm, sounds like an illusion to me. Lives don't change; we simply become more comfortable with our core misery...which is a form of happiness.
~ from HBO's Bored to Death
Patience is a Virtue...
A Tennessee State Trooper was patrolling late at night off the main highway.
He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing. He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails.
Puzzled by this surprising situation, the trooper walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window. The young man lowers his window.
Puzzled by this surprising situation, the trooper walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window. The young man lowers his window.
'Uh, yes, Officer?'
The trooper asks: 'What are you doing?'
The young man says: 'Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine....
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the trooper says: 'And her, what is she doing?'
The young man shrugs: 'Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails.'
Now, the trooper is totally confused. A young couple, alone, in a car, at night in a lover's lane ... and nothing obscene is happening!
The trooper asks: 'What's your age, young man?'
The young man says: 'I'm 22, sir.'
The trooper asks: 'And her ... what's her age?'
The young man looks at his watch and replies: 'She'll be 18 in 11 minutes...'
The trooper asks: 'What are you doing?'
The young man says: 'Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine....
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the trooper says: 'And her, what is she doing?'
The young man shrugs: 'Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails.'
Now, the trooper is totally confused. A young couple, alone, in a car, at night in a lover's lane ... and nothing obscene is happening!
The trooper asks: 'What's your age, young man?'
The young man says: 'I'm 22, sir.'
The trooper asks: 'And her ... what's her age?'
The young man looks at his watch and replies: 'She'll be 18 in 11 minutes...'
Proportional Experiences
I read this about motorcycle riding and I liked the concept of "proportional experience". It can (I imagine) apply to flying...or playing in a band...or tennis...or a relationship...
"One of the cool things about riding is that it's a proportional experience. The more passion we put into it, the richer the reward. It's entirely our call; therefore, we all get exactly what we want."
Motivation
"Think of motivation and passion as going hand in hand.
If you lose passion for the things you feel are important, motivation never sticks around for very long.
Remind yourself everyday of the things that are important in your life."
~ Bob Greene
Apple stole my classic pickup lines!
"...some say I'm too fast"
"When you're ready to compromise, call me..."
From the latest 'Get a Mac' ad.
Ouch!
“If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.”
~ C.G. Jung
Immutable Law of Computing...
Fix a computer for a friend or family member and you'll be tech support for life.
A little too close to home...
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Ha! Ha!
It's funny because he's fat!
Mr. Chow on The Hangover
Karma Compromisers
There are people in my life who I disagree with;
There are other people in my life who bug me;
And there are people in life who I think are Karma Compromisers - if you hang out with them you literally put yourself in harm's way as far as Karma, because they are that bad a person.
Dennis Miller, talking about Nancy Pelosi, on the O'Reilly Factor, August 12, 2009
Dumb like a fox...
The Barber and the Kid
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his ice cream cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"
Think about it...
Two parrots sat on a perch.
After a moment, one said to the other: "Do you smell fish?"
Don't mess with Cops
The recent Harvard Professor vs. Cambridge Policeman brouhaha sure has sparked debate.
I can see both sides.
I can see both sides.
As for my own potential behavior in that situation, I think the Neely Tucker sums it up best in the Washington Post: “One of the common-sense rules of life can be summed up this way: "Don’t Mess With Cops.”
"It doesn’t matter if you are right, wrong, at home or on the street, or if you are white, black, Hispanic, Jewish, Muslim or whatever. When an armed law enforcement officer tells you to cease and desist, the wise person (a) ceases and (b) desists.
The End."
Mmmm...makeup!
"Ok, girls, today's lesson is makeup.
First, we start with the eyes.
The eyes are the nipples of the face."
~ from The House Bunny
If only...
"Everything I do is more fun when you are doing it with me."
- Jordan to Perry (Dr. Cox) on Scrubs
Makes some things a bit clearer...
"Good people will do good things, and bad people will do bad things. But for good people to do bad things—that takes religion."
~ Steven Weinberg
To which Freeman Dyson adds:
"Weinberg's statement is true as far as it goes, but it is not the whole truth. To make it the whole truth, we must add an additional clause: 'And for bad people to do good things—that takes religion.'
" The main point of Christianity is that it is a religion for sinners. Jesus made that very clear. When the Pharisees asked his disciples, "Why eateth your Master with publicans and sinners?" he said, "I come to call not the righteous but sinners to repentance."
Only a small fraction of sinners repent and do good things, but only a small fraction of good people are led by their religion to do bad things.
~ Steven Weinberg
To which Freeman Dyson adds:
"Weinberg's statement is true as far as it goes, but it is not the whole truth. To make it the whole truth, we must add an additional clause: 'And for bad people to do good things—that takes religion.'
" The main point of Christianity is that it is a religion for sinners. Jesus made that very clear. When the Pharisees asked his disciples, "Why eateth your Master with publicans and sinners?" he said, "I come to call not the righteous but sinners to repentance."
Only a small fraction of sinners repent and do good things, but only a small fraction of good people are led by their religion to do bad things.
Ewwwww!
1st hiker: "Is that a Hobbit over there?"
2nd hiker: "No, it's a hobo and a rabbit, but they're making a hobbit."
The first rule of traveling...
If, in a given situation, you have a choice between having a good time and having your dignity and you can't have both...go for the good time.
Based on rigorous research...
From Simplemarriage.net:
To put this discussion into perspective, let’s review the characteristics of strong, stable, and satisfying marriages. While it is understood that there is not one way to have a stable and satisfying marriage, there are some common factors worth highlighting. Research states these characteristics as: investment in the well-being of the beloved; respect; admiration; sexual desire; intimacy; commitment; exclusivity; and understanding.
Oh, man...I'm hosed.
Found on my Mom's refrigerator...
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over those who can't read them.
Here is a fella with strong opinions...
"You can pretend Obama's massive spending spree didn't happen.
You can pretend Hillary Clinton didn't go to China to beg the Chinese to keep buying T-bills
You can pretend Geitner didn't recently go to China and drew loud laughter and scorn for suggesting Chinese assets are safe.
You can pretend all this massive spending that has taken place since TARP 1, which Senator Obama approved and voted for is all Bush's fault.
But all that is the stuff of unicorns and pixy dust. In this real world, Obama's massive spending is wrecking the US Economy."
You can pretend Hillary Clinton didn't go to China to beg the Chinese to keep buying T-bills
You can pretend Geitner didn't recently go to China and drew loud laughter and scorn for suggesting Chinese assets are safe.
You can pretend all this massive spending that has taken place since TARP 1, which Senator Obama approved and voted for is all Bush's fault.
But all that is the stuff of unicorns and pixy dust. In this real world, Obama's massive spending is wrecking the US Economy."
~ from a reader's comment to an article reporting that a Chinese Finance Minister want U.S. bonds to be issued in yuan instead of dollars.
The meditation phrase for today is...unicorns and pixie dust
A Concise Definition...
Sanctimonious - hypocritically pious or devout
The meditation word for today is...sanctimonious
The Dunning-Kruger Effect
The Dunning-Kruger effect - those who are least competent tend to have the most wildly inflated estimates of their own knowledge and competence.
They don’t know enough to know that they don’t know, as it were.
They don’t know enough to know that they don’t know, as it were.
It's not exactly Sun Tzu...but it works for me!
"In war - as in loving,
you've gotta keep on shoving.
Or you never will receive
your just reward."
~ General George S. Patton
My company got reorganized again today...
"We trained hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams, we would be reorganized.
"I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization."
~ Generally attributed to Gaius Petronius Arbiter, but more likely paraphrased from Charles Ogburn, pp. 32-33, "Merrill's Marauders: The truth About an Incredible Adventure", Harper's Magazine, Janyuary 1957.
"I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization."
~ Generally attributed to Gaius Petronius Arbiter, but more likely paraphrased from Charles Ogburn, pp. 32-33, "Merrill's Marauders: The truth About an Incredible Adventure", Harper's Magazine, Janyuary 1957.
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